


i’m really glad those hotdogs killed you guys

by andreaxjulia



Series: Carrie’s Redemption (a Friends to Enemies to Lovers series) [1]
Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Carrie POV, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, Friends to Enemies, Julie and Carrie mention, M/M, Past Alex/Luke Patterson (Julie and The Phantoms), Platonic Alex and Carrie, alex and Luke mention, carrie centered, lesbian Carrie, wlw and mlm solidarity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:34:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26788306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andreaxjulia/pseuds/andreaxjulia
Summary: Carrie reflects on her attitude towards Julie the last few years and her relationship with her father while having a nice gay heart to heart with a certain ghost drummer who knows a thing or two about being gay and coming out to one Trevor Wilson.
Relationships: Alex & Carrie Wilson, Alex & Luke Patterson (Julie and The Phantoms), Alex/Luke Patterson (Julie and The Phantoms), Bobby | Trevor Wilson & Carrie Wilson, Julie Molina & Carrie Wilson
Series: Carrie’s Redemption (a Friends to Enemies to Lovers series) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1953382
Comments: 24
Kudos: 281





	i’m really glad those hotdogs killed you guys

**Author's Note:**

> This is self indulgent. 100% I just love alex and Carrie and I headcanon Carrie as a lesbian and she’s crushing on Julie. It’s just how sue C’s it yknow. Enjoy, I definitely cried writing this Bc I too have daddy issues and am terrified to come out to my dad and i wish I had an Alex to tell me my dad would be proud of me. But this is going to be apart of a Carrie centered series Bc I adore Carries character tbh and I see massive potential. 
> 
> Anyway, Carrie redemption arc in season 2 pleaseeeeee

When Carrie arrived at Julie's, she was disappointed to hear she wasn't home yet.

After Julie and her band performed at the Orpheum, Carrie had gone to Julie's to discuss their friendship because while watching Julie preform, Carrie had realized two very important things.

One, she missed Julie and her friendship. It was her own fault that they weren't friends, she knew that and she took responsibility for that. Her dad had just gotten along so well with Julie and he had focused so much on Julie's music career instead of hers that Carrie got jealous. But in that moment, she realized that her jealousy was petty and that her friendship with Julie was too important to throw away because of her daddy issues.

And two, she had feelings for Julie. Immense feelings that scared her for a number of reasons. Of course there was the obvious reason of her acting like a total bitch to Julie since high school started but there was also the reason that Julie obviously had feelings for the guitarist in her band. She saw it in that first performance of theirs at the school. She had felt jealousy in that time as well, but she had written it off as jealousy in regards to being upstaged by Julie. But there was yet a bigger concern in Carrie’s mind; no body knew she was gay.

But still, she ignored the rising feelings and anxieties regarding her ex best friend and came to Julie's the day after the Orpheum, asking for forgiveness. Julie had stared at her with her arms crossed over her chest and Carrie watched as Julie's expression slowly softened as Carrie explained herself. And then Julie pulled her into a tight hug that Carrie eventually melted into, taking in her distantly familiar scent of roses and an acoustic guitar. 

"Oh god," a third voice had cried, startling Carrie. "It's so beautiful!"

"Reggie!" chorused two more voices.

And that was how Carrie met the boys. The ghosts of her fathers childhood band..... safe to say it took Carrie a while to get use to everything. But once she did, she came to every rehearsal or sometimes just to hang out with the guys.

Today was more of the latter. She didn't feel like going to her empty house after her own rehearsal. Luckily, Julie's father had noticed her fallen expression when he had told her Julie wasn't home, because he offered her to wait inside.

Julie's dad was always one of her favorite people. He was always so kind and supportive and welcoming. So when he offered her a snack and a quick conversation she was more than happy to partake. Eventually, though, he had to do work but said she was welcome in the studio until Julie arrived from her after school activities.

Carrie swung open the garage doors, expecting to see all three boys quietly jamming. But when she walked in, only Alex was inside. He had a laptop open, one of Carries own songs blasting from the speakers as he danced to the choreography. Carrie smiled, leaning against the door. She didn't make her presence known, opting instead to watch Alex totally nail her choreography. Once he finished with an exceptional pose, Carrie clapped enthusiastically, startling the ghost.

"Oh! Carrie h-hi," he said, awkwardly fumbling around. "How.... how much of that did you see?"

Carrie smiled, stepping further in and closing the doors behind her. "All of it."

Alex's face turned pink, matching the color of his shirt. "That's... embarrassing..."

"No, no!" Carrie assured. "You were amazing Alex!"

"Amazing? Nah...."

"I wouldn't say that to just anybody Alex," she stated, a slight sass to her face. "I'm painfully honest, remember?"

Alex smiled, nodding a bit. "We have that in common."

Carrie smiled fondly. She had a lot in common with Alex, a lot more than even he realized.

"Did you take dance classes when you were alive?" she asked, brushing her hand over the piano, her mind wondering to Julie for a split second, regret and and an ever growing pit of self-hatred stirring inside of her.

"In the 80s and early 90's?!" Alex asked, pulling Carrie out of her own mind. "With my conservative suburbanite parents?! Ha. Very funny Carrie."

Carrie frowned. "Right.... I forgot about all that..."

Her mind drifted from Julie to her father. He grew up the same time Alex did — grew _with_ Alex if she was remembering his stories correctly. She had often wondered what her dad would think about her being lesbian. It was another thing she kept hidden about herself in fear that her father wouldn't be proud of her or wouldn't accept her. Maybe that's another reason she started acting so cold towards Julie.

"Hey," Alex spoke softly, coming towards Carrie at the piano, noticing her suddenly sullen face. "It's okay Carrie. I never cared about what other people thought of me — even back then."

"What? Oh... no, it's not that," Carrie said, chewing her lower lip. She took a quick glance around the room, hoping no one else would materialize into the room. "Did you.... did you tell the band? About being gay?"

"The band? You mean back in the 90's?"

Carrie nodded.

"Yeah," he responded nonchalantly. "They all knew."

"And.... my... my _dad_ ," she breathed out, avoiding Alex's gaze as her acrylic nails nervously tapped on the top of the piano. "How.... how did he take it?"

"Your dad? He was super cool about it," Alex said.

Carrie looked up at that, insecurity growing larger by the second as she met Alex's understanding gaze and small yet supportive smile.

"He was?" her voice came out softer and more vulnerable than she had intended it to.

Alex nodded. "You know what he first said to me when I came out? He said 'well that's one less band member I have to fight about girls with.'"

Carrie chuckled at that, smiling fondly at the idea of her dad being so chill about it even in the 90's. He never said anything homophobic, but he also never mentioned his life-long best friend being gay. To be fair, he never mentioned him dying at 17 or being in a band either. Carrie didn’t actually know her dad well enough to gather whether or not he’d have been supportive.

"Besides," Alex added. "Luke would have kicked out anyone who wasn't okay with it."

Carrie didn't the miss the way his voice faded fondly at the mention of Luke. She had only known the boys for a month and some weeks, but she had caught onto the way Luke and Alex held each other's gazes, the way their hands seemed to find their way to each other's, only for them to realize and awkwardly part.

"But Bobby was cool," Alex continued on, his voice almost longing. It was heart breaking for Carrie to hear the boys talk about her father. It was always followed by a tone of wistfulness and betrayal. She could almost hear 'what if's' flying around in their heads.

_What if we hadn't died?_

_What if we had gotten to preform, together, as a band?_

_What if...._

What if indeed.

"Alex," Carrie breathed out after a moment of silence passed. Alex responded with a simple 'hm?'

"I..... Can I tell you something?" she asked.

Alex stared earnestly at her, nodding and giving her his undivided attention.

"I.... I'm like you," she said. "I..... I'm gay...."

Alex smiled, reaching out to put his hand on Carries, stopping her from tapping her nails. She was suddenly grateful she met them after they became corporeal beings, because she needed the physical affirmation. "Well that's one less person I have to fight over boys with."

Carrie laughed heartily and relieved, the weight of this life long secret lifting off of her shoulders at Alex's joke. Once their laughing died down, Alex's expression turned more earnest. "You're dad is going to be so proud of you."

Tears prickled at the front of her eyes, burning and blurring her vision until she blinked a couple times, the tears slipping down her cheeks. She squeezed Alex's hand back. "You really think so?"

Alex nodded. "I know so Carrie. Can I tell you a secret?"

Carrie nodded, wiping her tears away with her free hand.

"I spy on your dad from time to time," he admitted, clearly embarrassed. "Just to.... see how he's doing. And he really is _so_ proud of you."

"You're not just saying that, are you?"

Alex shook his head. "We're painfully honest, remember?"

Carrie smiled, wiping the stray tears from her cheeks. "All I've ever wanted was to make him proud... to live up to his image."

"Carrie, don't worry about living up to his image," Alex said. "He stole songs from his dead bandmates... he's proud of you because you're _not_ him."

"You have _so_ much talent Carrie," he continued. "You just have to be more authentic in your music — be yourself and stop trying to be what you _think_ other people _want_ you to be. I know how shitty of a life that gives you."

"No one has ever told me to just be myself...." Carrie said, her voice catching slightly. "Thank you Alex...."

Alex stood up straight, his hand leaving Carries as he shrugged. "Hey what kind of gay ghost would I be if I didn't help the living gays."

Carrie laughed, her heart feeling lighter than ever before. "A disappointing one, that's for sure."

""That's what I'm saying," Alex responded. "And Carrie, as far as everyone else is concerned — if you need me there when you decide to come out to them, I'll be there."

"Thank you," Carrie said. "I don't know if this is inconsiderate... but I'm really glad those hotdogs killed you guys."

Alex laughed, tossing his head back as he did. "All things considered.... so am I."


End file.
